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The Ten Commandments for Roommates

  1. Thou shalt always keep your personal belongings in a neat and organized manner. No one enjoys living with a slob.
  2. As a general rule, thou shalt not borrow from your roommate or your wing-mates. However, if it is necessary, do not take and use their property as your own without their permission. And, if you borrow something from your roommate, be sure to return or replace it.
  3. Thou shalt discuss your sleeping patterns with your roommate at the beginning. Everyone can't sleep with the lights on.
  4. Thou shalt always allow your roommate the opportunity to access voice messages before deleting them
  5. Thou shalt always be mindful that roommates share the use of one phone. Don't tie up the telephone so much that your roommate has to use another person's phone to place his/her calls.
  6. Thou shalt purchase a set of headphones for listening to music when your roommate is studying or sleeping.
  7. The bathroom is common area. Thou shalt surely dispose of all personal items after using.
  8. Thou shalt remove your clothes from the laundry area in a timely fashion so that others can use the equipment.
  9. If you are leaving the room, thou shalt communicate with your roommate so that no one is locked out inadvertently.
  10. Thou shalt honestly share feelings with your roommate if something has upset you. If you feel you've been mistreated, tell them, but don't be overbearing.

The Great Commandment:
Love thy Neighbor (Roommate / Wing-mates) as Thyself.

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Thanks to my British friend James for allowing me repost this~


Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all?

Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

19 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control scalextric cars.

and finally...

In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

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This is amazing. It just shows what can happen when you let God use you with the talents He has given you.
 
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." (James 1:17 KJV)
 


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Terrorist Ferrets Plotting Major Attacks

In a lengthy press conference yesterday President Bush vowed to take decisive action against terrorist ferrets who are allegedly plotting major attacks against the nation's living room carpet. "We will not rest," the President declared emphatically, "until these evil-doers are brought to justice. These little rascals could be hiding anywhere -- under the sofa, in the hamper, even in our kitchen cabinets, if Condi left them open. But know this: they are on the run." Terrorist ferrets are a growing problem, say intelligence experts. "The fact is that five years after 9/11, we are safer but not yet safe," said Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. "Potted plants are still vulnerable. Shoes, keys, and other draggable items are left out in the open. Half-full water glasses are simply left sitting on ledges. These types of targets are what the terrorist ferrets are looking for. Only last week an attempted attack against the nation's laundry detergent was thwarted. What else do these little guys have planned?" Some civil libertarians have raised questions about whether defenses against ferrets suspected of planning terrorist acts have gone too far. "The fact is we have seen an alarming array of abuses against ferrets, some of whom have done nothing more than sniff around in the kitchen," said the director of the ACLU. "Curtailed playtime, treats being withheld, even scruffing of necks has all taken place under this administration. Many of these ferrets sit around in cages all day long. Is this really the America we want to live in?" Many Democrats agreed. "The fact is if we are forced to abandon the ideals which made our nation great, the terrorist ferrets will have already won," said Kerry. "And I'll never find my car keys."
 
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